


Tomorrow Won't Do

by orphan_account



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, HoH Holster, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Sign Language, Soft Bros, Unrequited Love, background zimbits, hints of Ransom/Tater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 07:44:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9113281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's the holidays and Ransom is miserable.  Watching Holster with his girlfriend is destroying him, little by little.  But he's determined not to get in the way of his best friend's happiness, even if it's at the expense of his own.  If only he realised just how much the other man was pining, too.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alcatraz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcatraz/gifts).



> So this was a pinch-hit swawesome santa gift for alcatraz who wanted Holsom with lots of soft bros. I hope there was enough to combat the angst. I'm sorry it's shorter, but it was given to me with a super short deadline, so I couldn't go as long as I wanted before it was due. Either way, it was super fun to write!
> 
> Many thanks to my super super fast beta, H, who did his absolute best and any leftover mistakes are all mine.

_I want you now_  
Tomorrow won't do  
There's a yearning inside  
And it's showing through  
Reach out your hands  
And accept my love  
We've waited for too long  
Enough is enough  
I want you now  
~Depeche Mode 

*** 

He was a third of the way into the pie Bittle had left when the text came through. **Y’all wanna come to Jack’s holiday party Saturday? Friends and Falconers.**

Justin’s heart leapt into his throat, and he was throwing the chair back without thinking. He took the stairs two at a time, then skid to a halt in front of the door at the sight of the sock hanging from the knob. His gut flared, and his face went hot, and his hands shook.

And he told himself it was just because he wanted to spend time with Adam. He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t feeling anything other than inconvenienced.

He ignored the chirping voice in the back of his head and trudged back down with his phone gripped so tight, his knuckles were aching. Fuck Adam. Not literally but…it was the damn holidays, and he missed his best friend, and he was feeling lonely.

Fuck it.

He’d go party with the Falconers. Maybe Mashkov would be there.

_Brah, that is the best news I’ve heard all week. Count me in._

**Just you?**

Justin could practically hear the southern, lilting concern in Bitty’s text, and he sighed.

_Holtz too, probs. Thanks Bits._

He left it at that, and as if Bitty could tell there was shit going on, he left it at that as well.

*** 

It was near to midnight when Justin finally closed his book and crept up the stairs. He was fairly sure Adam had gone, but he’d determinedly not looked up from his notes when he heard the soft laughter, and the door shutting. He swore there’d been a pause at some point, but he’d just shoved another bite of pie into his mouth and sat there, tense and angry.

When he looked up, he was alone.

His head was aching now, eyes half-open and watery from the reading he’d been doing. And it wasn’t like it wasn’t necessary. Finals were slowly killing him one second at a time—stripping him down to knowledge and bones, and left over echoes from text books. His hands were still shaking, but the anxiety had faded to a dull roar, living somewhere around the bottom of his spine, and he could deal with it for now. He had a system.

Only the system was feeling kind of fucked because he was a senior and Bits and Jack were _dating_ and new frogs were living in the haus, and he hadn’t heard from Shitty in like…weeks. And Holtz was busy getting his dick sucked or whatever every night and Justin had weathered the last two panic attacks completely on his own.

Which was ridiculous, he realised as he stepped into the attic and shut the door a little harder than necessary. He had dealt with life before Adam Birkholtz had come along, and he could fucking deal with it now. He wasn’t going to live his entire life depending on some big, beefy white boy to talk him down every time he shook apart.

Someday he’d be on his own and married and a doctor with some kids and a nice house and a nice car living in the suburbs of Toronto like he always meant to.

Shit. He didn’t need all this crap.

Eyeing the bunks, he took the bottom, his limbs refusing to make it up without the ladder, and he pulled the covers tight round himself. He had socks on, which annoyed him to no end, but he was too exhausted to bother. His face was mashed into the pillow and it smelt faintly of aerosol hairspray and sex, which made his skin itch.

He sighed, and scrubbed a hand down his face, and squeezed his eyes together.

He would not think about Adam in this bed. He would not think about Adam touching her pretty face, and dragging his fingers through her hair, and crouching between her legs and making her gasp and moan because he knew how to use his mouth. He would not think about Adam whispering into her ear as he slipped inside her, and he would _not_ think about the fact that he knew what Adam looked like as he came.

That no longer belonged to him. They weren’t drunk frogs anymore. They had to get serious.

And Adam was just following the plan.

His chest ached, and his hands curled into fists, and he tried to sleep.

*** 

It was nearly one in the morning when he heard the attic door creak open. He could hear the usual sounds of Adam dressing down. _Shhhhft_ went the hoodie, the soft plop as it landed on the desk chair. Then _thunk, thunk_ as he kicked his shoes off.

Jeans always made a weird noise when Adam took them off. The _plink_ of his belt, and the scraping noise as they dragged down past his boxers. Justin hated how he knew what Adam’s warm thighs would feel like under his hands.

Fuck.

He heard Adam’s feet padding across the floor to the desk. He heard the soft noise of him removing his hearing aids, the tiny _tink_ as he set them to the right of his books. His glasses were next.

And Justin even anticipated the next move—Adam reached for the blankets and pulled them in, and put one knee on the mattress as he was about to climb in.

Without really realising he was going to do it, Justin’s hand flew up, first and middle finger pinching hard to his thumb. ‘No,’ he signed.

Adam froze, and Justin turned, squinting in the low light of the desk lamp. He watched as Adam reached for his glasses, sliding them on his nose one last time for the night. His hand curled into a Y, tapping on his chin. ‘What’s wrong?’

Justin curled his hand into an o, shaking it under his chin. ‘Nothing. I just want to be alone. Overwhelmed.’ He had to spell the last sign, he couldn’t remember if there even was one for it, and his head was swimming with both need to pull Adam close, and need to push him away.

Adam nodded though, looking stoic and a little hurt. But he never pushed Justin. Ever. So he slid his glasses off and curled his toes against the wooden frame, and hoisted himself to the top bunk. The last thing Justin saw was Adam’s large body, his impossibly long arms, reaching over the edge of the bed for the lamp.

It went dark. And that was it.

Justin closed his eyes, and laid on his back, and failed to sleep.

*** 

“Bits invited us to a party this weekend,” Justin said over his breakfast. He stared at Adam’ who was making moon-eyes across the room at Jilly, and in a sudden rush of anger, kicked him under the table. Hard. 

Adam’s gaze snapped over, his mouth bulging with cereal, and with one hand he signed, ‘What?’

“I said Bitty invited us to a party this weekend. At Jack’s.” Justin waited to see if Adam was getting it, or if he needed to repeat it in sign. But the hall was quiet that morning, and it was obvious Adam had only missed it the first time because he was too busy making eyes at his girl.

And he was totally not jealous at all.

Adam’s eyes lit up at that though, and he dropped his spoon. “Shut the fuck up. Like…a Falconers party?”

Justin shrugged. “Yeah man, I think so. Holiday party and shit. I went to tell you but you were uh. Busy.”

Adam’s cheeks pinked, and he bit his lip and glanced over at Jilly. “Yeah uh. Sorry.”

“Nah bro.” And suddenly, weirdly, it felt better. Because he wasn’t getting up and rushing off even though she was done with her breakfast. And, he realised a while later, his leg was still pressed under the table against Justin’s, and he hadn’t moved it.

*** 

“Okay so, Lards says we can use her car. She can’t come, and most of the frogs are bailing before the party,” Adam said as he flopped on the bottom bunk. He made grabby hands at Justin who let himself be pulled down, in spite of his mood.

He’d taken his last exam that afternoon and part of him still wanted to harf up what was left of his stomach lining. Another part of him was annoyed because he’d gone looking for Adam and found him crowding Jilly up against the wall near Annie’s, his hand practically up her skirt. There was a sliver of himself though, which was getting larger by the minute, who just wanted _this_.

So Adam drew him down to the messy duvet and tucked him up close, and Justin could feel the words rumbling deep through Adam’s chest as he listened to him talk. “Bits says we can crash there, so we don’t have to worry about a DD. Which is perfect because after all this, I wanna get fucking shitty before going home. Also I talked to moms who said if you wanna chill with us, we can use her car and then drive up to Toronto Christmas day so we can do the first night of Chanukah with my fam, then hit up yours.”

Justin was starting to drift, because Adam was absently drawing lines along the curve of his spine, and his voice was just rumbling and deep and perfect, and he didn’t ever want to have to live without it. “Yeah. Kay.”

Adam laughed. “Jilly said she’s gonna take the train back if we wanna chill the next day, too. Since it’s been basically forever since we’ve seen Jack.”

Suddenly all the softness and familiarity were gone, and he sat up. “She’s coming?”

Adam looked confused. “Uh. Yeah? Bits said it was fine when I texted. Bro do you like…not like her or something? I thought you two got along?”

“I don’t…we do,” he said with a huff. “We do. It’s not…it’s just been a long week, okay. I should get to bed or whatever.” He started to climb out, but Adam grabbed his wrist and tugged until he fell back to the mattress.

“Can you stay?” 

Justin blinked at him. “I’m not…”

“Bro,” Adam said softly, his voice kind of thick and strained. “Please? It’s…it feels weird we don’t do this anymore and I’m not sure what I fucked up, but I’m sorry. Whatever it is.”

Justin felt a white-hot flash of guilt because it really wasn’t Adam’s fault at all. It was his own, for getting all stupid and attached and shit, and god like…he didn’t even want to keep Adam for himself. He wasn’t like that. He didn’t want to lock him down and keep him all to himself and settled and whatever. That wasn’t his jam at all. He just wanted something for himself, and in a way, he just guessed it wasn’t going to stop when Holtz wanted to date other people. But it had, and it sucked.

But he wasn’t about to tell him no either, because he was pretty sure he’d only told Adam no like once or twice in their entire friendship. And this wasn’t exactly a difficult thing to do, crawling into his bed and letting himself get tucked against Adam tight.

“Bro, you’re unhappy and this fucking sucks. I wish you’d…I wish you’d talk to me.”

Justin swallowed thickly and shook his head. “Dunno, man. It’s…just a lot, eh? This time of year and finals and all that. I swear I’m…” His words trailed off when Adam’s lips pressed against the side of his neck. He swallowed again. “I’m alright,” he managed at a whisper.

“You’ve never really lied to me before this,” Adam said. He pushed his hand against Justin’s sternum and pressed there. “Why now?”

Justin shook his head and he wanted to turn and start signing because voicing it felt raw, and frankly being able to do this in Adam’s language felt better. But he was being held and Adam seemed determined to make him say it out loud. So.

Fuck it.

“I miss you,” he blurted. “I just miss you and it feels like you’re slipping away, and I’m not sure I can face the rest of the world if I can’t…if you’re far away. And we only have a few more months left and it’s getting worse and I hate it.”

Adam let out a breath, and kissed the back of his neck again. “I wish I could tell you it won’t get shitty, but I have no idea what the fuck’s going to happen next. But I’m here and you’re not going to lose me.”

_I already have,_ is the still voice in his head, but he didn’t bother saying it aloud. He just nuzzled backward and closed his eyes and tried to think of how the fuck this was all going to work without him completely falling apart.

*** 

“Sweetheart, you been nursing beer all night.” Bitty touched the side of Ransom’s wrist and shook his head. “You got Alexei Mashkov trying to get your attention, and you won’t even look over there. I’m about to call an ambulance.”

Letting out a tight laugh, Justin shrugged. “It’s just…” His eyes flickered across the room to where Adam was leaning into Jilly’s ear and whispering.

“Ah,” Bitty said. He leans into Justin’s side. “Have you talked about it?”

“A little,” he admitted. “But not like…not enough. I just can’t bring myself to shit all over what he’s got. He’s happy.”

Bitty hummed, like he was assessing Adam’s stance and posture, then he shrugged. “I thought y’all had an agreement.”

“I thought…” He licked his lips and tried again when his voice cracked. “I’m way chill with him fucking other people, or dating them, or whatever. I was happy and then suddenly I wasn’t, because he decided that dating others meant he couldn’t date me too.”

“Did he know that was an option?”

Justin felt his stomach drop because he never really explicitly stated it, but he just assumed Adam understood him. “Uh…”

“You two are ridiculous,” Bitty said, and squeezed an arm round his waist. “I don’t think tonight’s a great night for the long, polyamory talk, but you should have it, and soon. For now, it probably won’t kill you to at least go say hi to your hockey crush. I happen to know he’d at least want a chat with you.”

It didn’t give Justin the same thrill as it once would have, but seeing Holster kissing down Jilly’s neck had him gulping the rest of his beer, and crossing the room, and finding a bravery he wasn’t really sure he had.

Mashkov had seen him, too. Justin watched as the man’s eyes widened a bit, and he excused himself from the conversation he was having. Justin’s heart was thumping, and his hands were shaking, but he clutched them round his drink as the tall Russian made his way over.

“Why you are look like puppy die? Did…puppy die?”

Ransom almost choked on his drink. “Uh. No.” He let out a laugh, though it was strained. “No uh. Just…been a day, man. But it’s nice to meet you.”

Mashkov raised a brow, then gave Justin a blinding grin and slapped a hand down on his shoulder. “You are friends with Itty Bitty, yes? He tell me you want to meet.”

Justin glanced over at Adam again, who was still with her. And he felt his throat get hot. He cleared it as he leant on the wall and nodded. “Yeah, man. I’m a huge fan.”

Mashkov’s smile was crooked, and in spite of Justin’s emotions, he was reminded, almost viciously, of how much he was attracted to this man. His stomach swooped a bit. “You not like most fans. Maybe because Zimmboni is friend, yes?”

Justin had to laugh. “I can’t even believe he lets you guys call him that. He’d have gutted us if we tried any nickname.” Justin swiped his hand down his face, and tried not to look over to where Adam was whispering something into Jilly’s ear, making her laugh.

He failed. And Mashkov noticed. “Is guy or girl, making you feel…so sad?”

Justin bit down on his bottom lip, then decided fuck it. Because he was a little buzzed, and a lot hurt, and pretty lost. “He’s…my best friend. But it was more than that, you know? Like, we had a good thing going, but everything changed and I don’t…” He let out a soft groan. “I don’t know what to do. Fucking white boys always fucking things up.”

Mashkov laughed, slinging his arm round Justin’s waist. “We make jealous, then. Make him want more.”

“I don’t…” he started, because that wasn’t how he wanted Adam to recognise that he missed Justin. But frankly it was the only thing he had left, and really, he didn’t have much to lose. “Yeah, alright. You dance?”

“Maybe little bit bad,” Mashkov said. “But is party. So is okay.”

And his bright laugh and huge smile were impossible to resist. Justin knew he’d remember this forever, even if he was the most miserable he’d ever been. Mashkov’s hands on his waist, and his terrible rhythm, and his shining eyes. It was the first time someone was really nice to him about the whole thing, and it was probably why Justin leant in and kissed him.

It only lasted a few seconds, but Mashkov’s giant hand cupped his cheek and held him in place for a second. “Don’t want you to get too far, yes? Regret something.”

Justin let out a shaking breath, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Adam watching. He couldn’t make out an expression, he was turned too far, but he hoped—god he hoped—it was something more than passive acceptance. “Yeah no. I mean, we had an open thing. I thought…I mean. That’s what I wanted.” Fuck. He sounded like an idiot but he’d been drinking and it just hurt.

“I’m think is working,” Mashkov said. He stroked Justin’s cheek, then kissed the corner of his mouth. “Maybe you call me after. When things are better. If…still open?” Then Mashkov was digging his hand into Justin’s jeans and putting his number in his phone.

Part of him wanted to scream, “Holy fucking shit I have Alexei Mashkov’s number!” And part of him wanted to cry because that wasn’t even what he wanted right now.

Fucking Adam. He had to ruin everything.

When he turned, Mashkov was wandering back to his friends, Justin was alone, and his favourite blonde was leaning against the wall. By himself.

His legs carried him over before he knew what he was doing. He bumped shoulders with his best friend, and was profoundly aware that Adam was not looking at him.

“Where’s Jilly?”

“Uh. Took an uber. Vodka doesn’t mix well with her stomach so she decided to grab the last train home.”

Justin bit his bottom lip. “Why didn’t you go with?”

At that, Adam scoffed, and he looked over. His face was almost angry, in a way. “Bro, you think I’d leave you here by yourself to make dumbass decisions?”

Justin gave him a slow, unimpressed look. “Seriously?”

“What?” Adam said, and it was then Justin noticed the very slight upturn to the left side of his mouth. “I mean, bro…Mashkov?”

Justin’s eyebrows flew up. “Bro. Are you…you can’t possibly be trying to tell me that you think me and Mashkov would be a bad idea.”

Adam gave a petulant shrug. “I don’t…I mean. Um.”

Justin realised this wasn’t chirping anymore. This wasn’t joking. “Look. You moved on, and I don’t see a problem with me doing the same thing.”

Adam gapped at him, mouth opening and closing before he let out a slow breath and ruffled his hair. “I’m…yeah. Like. Okay, bro. That’s fair.”

Justin felt his throat go tight. “I didn’t want to,” he admitted quietly. “I didn’t think you were just going to let me go.”

Adam turned, staring, eyes wide behind his glasses. “Bro. Justin.” His chin trembled just slightly. “I wasn’t…it wasn’t that. Fuck. I…” He swallowed thickly. “It wasn’t about that. But I like her, and it wasn’t fair to you.”

“I don’t care,” Justin blurted, then he glanced away. “Fuck, dude. I don’t care if you like her. I don’t care if you fuck her, or marry her. I just…thought it would be me _too_. Holtz, I don’t care if I have to share you.”

Adam was staring openly now, lips slightly parted, his cheeks mottled pink. “She uh, she said the same thing. I was wrecked. I’ve been wrecked over this for _weeks_. Fuck.” Adam dragged a hand down his face. “Rans, I _love_ you.”

“ _Shit_.” Justin’s entire body shook with that, like he was hit from behind by a thousand fireworks. Adam loved him. The words sounded different, the words sounded more than their usual, half-drunk, half-chirping. He was staring, unable to break their locked gazes, and his hand was coming up, touching the warm skin on the side of Adam’s neck.

“Can we…”

“Jack and Bits set up their guest room for us,” Adam said, his voice hoarse with want. “I need…”

“Me, too,” Justin breathed back.

Their fingers twinned together, and Adam pulled him down the corridor, into the slightly cold, dark room, and shut the door. The sound echoed, like a benediction, like everything was about to change, and Justin found he couldn’t breathe. His chest was frozen with anticipation, even as Adam crowded him back against the wood of the door, even as he gripped him tight about the ribs, and dropped his face into the crook of Justin’s neck.

“Been so long,” he muttered.

Justin couldn’t do more than nod, and clutch Adam right back with the same ferocity and same want. “Mm,” he managed, and cleared his throat. He felt like if Adam didn’t kiss him _right now_ , he was going to fucking die. “Please,” he managed.

Adam let out a hoarse laugh, then grabbed Justin by both sides of the face and their lips mashed together. It was sloppy and kind of gross and way too hard, but neither of them could seem to help it. A feeling was uncoiling in Justin’s belly, like he wanted to open his mouth and devour Adam right there, and Adam was kissing back just the same.

Their hands roamed freely, Justin pushing up Adam’s shirt, feeling the hot expanse of taut abs and fine hair under the pads of his fingers. “Fuck,” someone gasped, and Justin wasn’t sure who was speaking, because it seemed to come from both of them.

“Shit. Please.”

Justin’s eyes all-but rolled back in his head and he felt Adam’s mouth latch on to his neck, and it was all over from there.

*** 

Justin didn’t remember falling into the guest bed, or falling asleep, but waking with the soft light of morning, and warm arms all-but pinning him to the bed, a heavy thigh bracketing his own—that was something he could get used to. That was something he had once, and had wanted so desperately since.

And now it was his again.

He groaned, and shuffled, and pressed his lips to the crook of Adam’s neck.

“Fuck. Bro, it’s so fucking early.”

Justin fumbled for someone’s phone, eventually finding his own. He turned the screen on, flashing the time to Adam who wrinkled his nose, then buried his face back in Justin’s neck for a minute.

Justin huffed, but ran his fingers through the shorn back of Adam’s hair, then tapped him until he looked up.

‘Breakfast,’ he signed.

Adam shrugged, and lifted his hands like he was going to sign something. Instead he drew his thumb just under Justin’s bottom lip, then followed it with a kiss, drawing it out and out. When he pulled away, he fumbled on the nightstand for his hearing aids, and when they were in, he sighed, kissed Justin once more, then said, “You think Bits and Jack know a good brunch place?”

“Probably,” he replied, letting his fingers play along Adam’s abs. “They’re gonna fine the fuck out of us.”

Adam laughed and shrugged. “I guess they owe us for it. Fuck it.” He dragged his lips along the cut of Justin’s jaw. “We okay, bro?”

Justin waited until Adam pulled back, meeting his eyes, staring at him for a long moment and drinking in the fact that he got to have this again. Maybe forever, who knew. But at least for now. “We’re okay. Just…don’t shut me out again. I want this. To be with you, however you wanna let me.”

Adam’s eyes were bright, and careful, and his hands were soft and big and warm as they tugged him closer. “Rans,” he whispered, and touched the side of his face again, before letting their lips drag together. “Remember our frog year? We were pretty schwasted and Jack said we could stay at the haus because we were both too fucked to get back to the dorms?”

Justin raised a brow. “The night out in the reading room?”

Adam nodded. “I said forever, bro. I fucking meant it. I was just afraid because I couldn’t…because it wouldn’t be just us.”

“I don’t need it to be only us. I just…want it to be you. It can be you _and_ who-ever-the-fuck. But I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t,” Adam swore. “Me and Jilly, you and Mashkov. But it’s always us.”

“Swear,” Justin said, just a hint of desperation.

Adam’s face went soft, sweeter than Justin ever really remembered seeing it, and he nodded. His hands came up and he signed, ‘Promise. Forever.’

Justin stared, and realised he was smiling. “Swawesome,” he murmured.

Adam laughed, kissed him again, and Justin closed his eyes.


End file.
